Tag: sex
God’s Vacation
God is tired, worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter, "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?" St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm there this time of the year." God shakes His head before saying, "No. Too much gravity. [...]
The Confessional
Three men are outside the priest's confessional area talking about their sins while waiting for the priest to finish. One admits to beating his wife up; the second admits to gambling his wages away and the third admits to committing adultery with a woman from the parish. The adulterer goes into the box and admits [...]
The Miraculous Hand Soap
One morning, 2 priests head to the showers and it isn't until they are already in the shower they both realize they did not bring any soa Father Bob decides he'll run back for the soap, so he checks out the hallway. There's no one around – so rather than get dressed, he decides to [...]
The Resurrection of Christ
One of the basic tenents of Christianity is the resurrection of Christ. It is generally believed that this refers to JESUS CHRIST being crucified on the cross and then returning back from the dead three days later. While this makes for a nice story and the foundation for a world-wide religion, it is not what [...]
How God created evil
God created Adam 6th day. He took a day off and looked at Eden, and found Adam was jerking off all day. Since God was not wise enough to create Evil yet, he couldn't kick him out of Eden. Instead he decided to give him a mate. He ripped off Adam's limb and Created Eve [...]
That Useless Tit
After three weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve. "How's things, Eve?" He asked. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful…but I just have this one problem. It's these three breasts you've given me. The middle one pushes the [...]
God’s bag of creations
Seems when God was just about done creating the universe, He had a couple of things left over in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up [...]
Adam’s Rib #1
So God makes Adam and Adam walks through Eden, simply existing. But things in Eden get a little slow so God says, "Adam, for you I will create a woman." Adam is interested. "She will be everything you could possibly want in a woman, she will be beautiful, professionally and financially successful, a great mother [...]
Biological Disaster Story
“Burroughs imagines the beginning of humanity as a biological disaster story. Apes become human as a result of a virus infection that kills most of the species and mutates the rest. The survivors feel a painful invasion of their bodies by an external force that gradually produces human behavior. Humanity develops from language (“the talk [...]
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