Profiles
Tag Archives: God
Adam’s Asshole
“When God made man there was only one. The various parts argued about who would be boss. The hands said they should be boss, because they did all the work. The feet thought they should be boss, because they took … Continue reading
None
Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring. He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said 'NIL.' White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns to … Continue reading
Is God black or white?
A confused nine year old boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?" After thinking a moment, his mother responds, Well, God is both male and female." This confuses the little boy so he asks, … Continue reading
God’s Promise
A hippie dies and goes to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter looks him up, and says, "I'm sorry, but you'll be going down to Hell." The hippie, astounded, peers through the gates and sees God walking in the distance. "God!" … Continue reading
God’s Vacation
God is tired, worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter, "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?" St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm there … Continue reading
How God created evil
God created Adam 6th day. He took a day off and looked at Eden, and found Adam was jerking off all day. Since God was not wise enough to create Evil yet, he couldn't kick him out of Eden. Instead … Continue reading
That Useless Tit
After three weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve. "How's things, Eve?" He asked. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful…but I just have … Continue reading
Good News/Bad News
One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news", God said. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got … Continue reading
God’s bag of creations
Seems when God was just about done creating the universe, He had a couple of things left over in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden. He told the couple that … Continue reading
Adam’s Rib #1
So God makes Adam and Adam walks through Eden, simply existing. But things in Eden get a little slow so God says, "Adam, for you I will create a woman." Adam is interested. "She will be everything you could possibly … Continue reading
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