The Shits & The Johnsons
In the metaphysics of science fiction author W.S. Burroughs, there are only two types of people in the world - Shits and Johnsons.
Johnsons mind their own business, and are generous, helpful and kind, with no thought of reward; Shits are infected by an alien virus called the "right virus" which makes them literally incapable of minding their own business, and so spend their time and energy on a ceaseless crusade against victimless crimes.
Johnsons derive pleasure and meaning from having fun; Shits derive pleasure and meaning from punishing other people for having fun.

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