Category Archives: Jokes

What kind of meat does a vegetarian priest eat?

The Confessional

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

Three men are outside the priest's confessional area talking about their sins while waiting for the priest to finish. One admits to beating his wife up; the second admits to gambling his wages away and the third admits to committing … Continue reading →

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The Miraculous Hand Soap

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

One morning, 2 priests head to the showers and it isn't until they are already in the shower they both realize they did not bring any soa Father Bob decides he'll run back for the soap, so he checks out … Continue reading →

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The Resurrection of Christ

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

One of the basic tenents of Christianity is the resurrection of Christ. It is generally believed that this refers to JESUS CHRIST being crucified on the cross and then returning back from the dead three days later. While this makes … Continue reading →

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How God created evil

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

God created Adam 6th day. He took a day off and looked at Eden, and found Adam was jerking off all day. Since God was not wise enough to create Evil yet, he couldn't kick him out of Eden. Instead … Continue reading →

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That Useless Tit

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

After three weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve. "How's things, Eve?" He asked. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful…but I just have … Continue reading →

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Good News/Bad News

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news", God said. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got … Continue reading →

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What Nationality were Adam & Eve?

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, … Continue reading →

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God’s bag of creations

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

Seems when God was just about done creating the universe, He had a couple of things left over in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden. He told the couple that … Continue reading →

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Adam’s Rib #2

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

Adam was returning home late one night in paradise after drinking with the dodo and the unicorn. Eve got angry and yelled at him: "YOU ARE SEEING ANOTHER WOMAN!" Adam responded: "Don't be silly, you are the only woman on … Continue reading →

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Adam’s Rib #1

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

So God makes Adam and Adam walks through Eden, simply existing. But things in Eden get a little slow so God says, "Adam, for you I will create a woman." Adam is interested. "She will be everything you could possibly … Continue reading →

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