Category Archives: Jokes

What kind of meat does a vegetarian priest eat?

Adam’s Asshole

Posted on November 24, 2007 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

“When God made man there was only one. The various parts argued about who would be boss. The hands said they should be boss, because they did all the work. The feet thought they should be boss, because they took … Continue reading →

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Adam said…

Posted on November 24, 2007 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

“What a good thing Adam had going. When he said something he knew nobody had said it before.”

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The Spelling Error

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

In an ancient monastery in a faraway place, a new monk arrived to join his brothers in copying books and scrolls in the monastery’s scriptorium. He was assigned as a rubricator on copies of books that had already been copied … Continue reading →

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None

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring. He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said 'NIL.' White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns to … Continue reading →

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Is God black or white?

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

A confused nine year old boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?" After thinking a moment, his mother responds, Well, God is both male and female." This confuses the little boy so he asks, … Continue reading →

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God’s Promise

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

A hippie dies and goes to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter looks him up, and says, "I'm sorry, but you'll be going down to Hell." The hippie, astounded, peers through the gates and sees God walking in the distance. "God!" … Continue reading →

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Jesus fills in for St. Peter

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

Jesus decided to go say hi to his old buddy St. Peter, so he strolled out to the Pearly Gates and noticed a HUGE long line of people waiting to get in. St. Peter saw Jesus coming and said "Oh, … Continue reading →

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The Post Office

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

A minister asked a little boy how to get to the Post Office. After the little boy told him, the minister said, "Why don't you come to church tonight? I'm giving instructions on how to get to heaven." After thinking … Continue reading →

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Four Catholic Schoolgirls…

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

Four Catholic schoolgirls all die in a car accident. They wind up at the Pearly Gates, and St. Peter says: "You're all virgins, so I can let all of you in, but first I have to take your confessions. Tell … Continue reading →

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God’s Vacation

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Rev Illuminatus Maximus

God is tired, worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter, "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?" St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm there … Continue reading →

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